Author Topic: caregivers and ptsd.  (Read 358 times)

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Offline hayshaker

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caregivers and ptsd.
« on: August 31, 2019, 08:54:38 PM »
well it's been a year now since my wife passed. I cared for her for 13yrs.
in that time I have fallen apart in many ways. I used to love to make knives
as many here know, I've made one knife in the last yr. I just got done watching
a y-tube video on deep south preppers channel, discussing the unseen enemy
{our mind} dealing with his loss of his wife to breast cancer and how it was for him
as her care giver. everyone says you need to find a friend, some say move the heck out of bfe.
both seem impossible at this point. tonight I took the pictures off the wall and had a strange feeling.

the only real comfort it seems I've gotten is from my forum family. folks here are too busy
for this and that reason. a year later I still struggle not long ago I thought only combat vets
got ptsd, not so.  little by little i'm trying to get back the desire to make knives.
I do wish to say thanks to all the good people here that have been there for me. it means a lot.

Offline wsdstan

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Re: caregivers and ptsd.
« Reply #1 on: August 31, 2019, 10:19:10 PM »
Life can throw us a lot of heavy loads to carry as you well know Michael.  It can take a long time to get back to a path that gives you what you want in life.  I think you have done well and shown a lot of strength in dealing with losing your wife. 

We have talked a lot about what one does when things when things go awry and we sometimes try to go back to where we were. You will find a new path and it will be one that will give you back some focus and new goals in life.  It has been a year and time passes slowly when happiness is lost.   
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns  something he can learn in no other way. 
(Mark Twain)

Offline Phaedrus

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Re: caregivers and ptsd.
« Reply #2 on: September 01, 2019, 12:44:58 AM »
I'm for your loss.  I know it's a loss that doesn't really stop, but is with you every day that she's not.  Man, I wish there's something I could do or say to help, but words seem wholly inadequate.

Offline duxdawg

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Re: caregivers and ptsd.
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2019, 08:54:28 AM »
We're pulling for ya.

Offline Phaedrus

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Re: caregivers and ptsd.
« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2019, 06:42:19 PM »
I'm for your loss.  I know it's a loss that doesn't really stop, but is with you every day that she's not.  Man, I wish there's something I could do or say to help, but words seem wholly inadequate.

Sorry, I was trying to say I'm sorry for your loss.  I think it goes without saying that if you need someone to talk to many of us would love to listen.

Offline Spyder1958

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Re: caregivers and ptsd.
« Reply #5 on: September 09, 2019, 05:08:39 PM »
Can't put it any better than Stan has Michael. If you can try something new or get away for a trip, anything that will help clear your mind not your memories. I'm available any time if you need to talk, just msg me I'll send my number. Good luck buddy, I'm praying for you.
You are free to choose but you are not free from the consequences of your choice.
Zig Ziglar

Offline xj35s

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Re: caregivers and ptsd.
« Reply #6 on: September 15, 2019, 06:34:00 AM »
I'm really glad you brought this up. I have wanted to say something similar but didn't know how.

Hayshaker, I'm in the same boat. Since I lost my sister 2 years ago I haven't done much. There are multiple threads here by me doing interesting things, if not bushy, then mechanical. I had solice in walking with Julia and Xena in the woods out back. Julia is gone as of 8/20 now of Lymphoma. Died 3 weeks after the biopsy. Xena is just now getting over the depression and starting to go in the woods with me but she's not as energetic or enthusiastic about it. I've wanted to do a dozen things this summer. The nationals car show. The big airshow at the Pocono Speedway. Many other things. I just stay home.

Part of me considers that it should be liberating not having the responsibility Of always being with Julia. I can go and do things now because she's not sad I'm gone. But it's not the same. Xena is indepenent and doesn't mind being alone. We can leave her for an overnight and my neighbors will feed her and let her out. But we just stay home.
We have the time and money, but just stay home. I have a perfect job yet think about quiting all the time. We talk about selling most of our things and moving south. Living in a camper until we can find a place. But probably never will.

I know a lot of people that feel kind of similar. It makes me think there's something in the air or food. Like a world full of zombies living for the next new story to complain about.
I drive all night on east coast time. What time zone are you in Hayshaker? I think 9pm here is 6pm there but not certain. I'll call you.
pessimist complain about the wind. optimist expect the wind to change. realist adjusts the sails.

Offline wsdstan

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Re: caregivers and ptsd.
« Reply #7 on: September 15, 2019, 09:41:49 AM »
xj35, Michael is in central time  (in western Minnesota)
so he is an hour ahead of eastern.

A man who carries a cat by the tail learns  something he can learn in no other way. 
(Mark Twain)

Offline hayshaker

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Re: caregivers and ptsd.
« Reply #8 on: September 15, 2019, 06:26:22 PM »
sorry to hear all you've been thru xj. grief and loss is a hard thing.
btw i'm on central time. things take time.