Author Topic: Outa Time  (Read 610 times)

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Offline madmax

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Outa Time
« on: November 22, 2019, 02:17:16 PM »
     So my lovely wife ordered a free magazine because we stayed at some hotels last year.  They wanted to reward us.  whoopee.  People mag.  I scanned it a little.  I know more names from the 19th century than I do from this one. 

      Sometimes I fart when I walk when I don't know it's coming.  That's serious.  Never trust a fart. 
     
       I seriously consider whether picking up the thing dropped is worth bending over for. 
   
       Hemorrhoids aren't funny anymore. 
       
       A camera up my ass seems a better option than colon cancer. 
 
       I feel guilty when I eat fried food two days in a row. 

      My psychiatrist only sees me because he wants to hear about our campouts.

       I recently reaquired  the ability to do the third world squat.  Big help in the woods.  Use your imagination. 

      When Max is slow to obey a command...I understand.  Take your time old friend.  He needs a boost up into the truck and into bed.  Yeah, he sleeps in the bed.  I'll always help him until the day one of us dies.

        How old do you have to be to be considered old?

       
At least it's not a femur through the pelvis.

Offline Yellowyak

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #1 on: November 22, 2019, 03:40:22 PM »
My wife used to have a subscriptions to People and Newsweek Magazines, some 25 years ago. I haven't looked at either one since those subscriptions ran out. I'm with you, I'd have a hard time knowing anyone they were talking about. As far as the other stuff, I'm with ya.

You're never too old, it's all in your head...
« Last Edit: November 22, 2019, 05:37:17 PM by Yellowyak »

Offline hayshaker

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #2 on: November 22, 2019, 05:09:37 PM »
mabey my age, time to join the geezer squad,

Offline crashdive123

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #3 on: November 22, 2019, 05:56:22 PM »
Those magazines are great.............. ................... ................... ..................f or starting a fire.

Offline wolfy

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #4 on: November 22, 2019, 07:36:45 PM »
   Never trust a fart. 

........and NEVER waste an erection. :cheers: :lol:
The only chance you got at a education is listenin' to me talk!
Augustus McCrae.....Texas Ranger      Lonesome Dove, TX

Offline Pete Bog

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #5 on: November 22, 2019, 07:38:55 PM »
     "  I seriously consider whether picking up the thing dropped is worth bending over for.  "

    I'm sheet rocking a man cave for myself. When I drop the nails and screws I let them lay until there is enough of them to make it worthwhile to pick them up with a magnet on a stick. They sure aren't worth picking up as I drop them.

    "  My Psychiatrist  "
     I don't have one of those. Don't trust 'em not to throw "premeditated" around in the courtroom!  :lol:     :banana:

Offline wsdstan

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2019, 10:37:33 PM »
All the medicine that is prescribed is to maintain and not to cure what might ail us.  No money to be made in cures.  I take way more than a normal person and will do so until things quit beating I suppose. 

As wolfy says never waste an erection you never know when it will be the last one.  I am not sure what to do though if there is nowhere to put it.

If your knees are bad get them replaced, it will change your life.  Get your cataracts removed too.  No more glasses sometimes (lucky me) so no fogged lenses sitting out in temperatures colder than the proverbial witches piece of anatomy in that brass holder.  Don't let what ails you get you down, don't ignore it but don't dwell on it.  Live your life like tomorrow might never come, one day it won't.

I used to think old was a state of mind.  Old is when your mind says "I can do that" and then you try it and your body says "that was stupid".   Face the fact that you can't jump over the barbwire fence with one hand on the post.  It is why we have gates. 

If you are stressed out by all that goes on in our world buy a street motorcycle and ride it.  There is nothing that blows out the stress of life like a fast bike and a grin on your face.  Never seen a motorcycle parked in the patients section of the psychiatrists office.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns  something he can learn in no other way. 
(Mark Twain)

Offline hayshaker

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #7 on: November 23, 2019, 04:03:08 AM »
well heck i'll jump in i'm taking Xtendovite, for the heart and circilitory system.
and prosta relief for you know, it is already stsrting ti help, and I didn't need to see the doc.
yes gentelmen we are at that age like it or not, these days i'm taking more supplements than carter's got liver pills.
as the saying goes.
 as for the gas tony yer mabey eating too much squirrel or onions,beans ect?
I knew a guy in Ocala who said squirrels gave him gas? just saying.
as for getting checked out well better the devil you know.
« Last Edit: November 23, 2019, 04:09:17 AM by hayshaker »

Offline Moe M.

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #8 on: November 23, 2019, 08:37:59 AM »
My wife used to have a subscriptions to People and Newsweek Magazines, some 25 years ago. I haven't looked at either one since those subscriptions ran out. I'm with you, I'd have a hard time knowing anyone they were talking about. As far as the other stuff, I'm with ya.

You're never too old, it's all in your head...

  Well,  old might originate in your head, and I wouldn't mind so much if it stayed there,  but it don't, it travels down eventually into those parts of your body that need to bend, move, and carry weight, like your shoulders, hands, knees, and legs,  it's also known to trigger truly rude and unexpected verbiage at the most inappropriate times.   
In youth we learn,   with age we understand.

Offline xj35s

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #9 on: November 24, 2019, 01:56:52 PM »
It took me 3 weeks to rebuild the knuckles in my f-350 front axle. My buggy hasn't moved in a year and a half. I keep airing up the tires on my mountain bike but not sure why.
I'm not sure when my wrist and shoulders went bad. No idea why the lower back kills me after doing any wood chopping. Eat, sleep, work. That's what is slowly killing me. I need time to get out and DO. Mght be too late? I digress...
pessimist complain about the wind. optimist expect the wind to change. realist adjusts the sails.

Offline Mannlicher

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #10 on: November 28, 2019, 05:39:09 AM »
Life it is what it is.  Some days are good,  some less so.  I finally broke down and got a handicap parking rear view mirror hanger.  Don't use it much,  but it's there in the center console if I need it.   I have a 'reach stick' to pick things up off the floor.  I have a yard man now. 

Offline madmax

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #11 on: November 28, 2019, 05:45:12 AM »
In all honestly,  I'm better now than I was for the last 3 years.  And I improve everyday.  I notice it and jot it down.  I have a good idea of what's ahead now through personal experience and watching friends age.  But I'm not ready yet.
At least it's not a femur through the pelvis.

Offline wsdstan

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #12 on: November 28, 2019, 10:24:00 AM »
I am glad to hear that Tony.  I thought, from some posts you have made, you were better than a few years ago.  That is great news.
A man who carries a cat by the tail learns  something he can learn in no other way. 
(Mark Twain)

Offline madmax

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #13 on: December 08, 2019, 02:39:32 PM »
After revisiting my thread here I realized how many of you guys had much to say about getting old.  Jus sayin'...
At least it's not a femur through the pelvis.

Offline crashdive123

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #14 on: December 08, 2019, 05:28:22 PM »
You are only as old as you feel.  Some days I feel really old.  Others, not as much.  As long as I can keep it in the "others" category I'm doing OK.

Offline madmax

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #15 on: Yesterday at 09:48:57 AM »
I'm just glad I can set my own tent up again.  Baby steps.
At least it's not a femur through the pelvis.

Offline crashdive123

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Re: Outa Time
« Reply #16 on: Yesterday at 06:45:16 PM »
Tent yes.  Rain fly?????????????????